Understanding Stress: Transforming Internal Resistance into Growth

Like most professionals who work in behavioral health and support clients in need, I hear a lot about stress. "This part of my life is full of stress," they say. "That part of my life is full of stress." But what is stress, really? And how is it different from stressors?

Stressors are the things that seem to be out there in the world that come at us—a tragedy, a problem that needs to be solved. Reading the newspaper can be a stressor for some people. But these are just stressors; they're not stress itself. Stress is an inside game. Stress is my response to stressors. But what is stress?

Stress is my resistance to reality. That’s all it is. The stressor is a part of reality—that news event, that situation at work, that event in my family. That’s the stressor, and it’s out there. But all of my stress—my response to it—is in here. It’s an internal experience, entirely about my resistance to what is.

So, if I’m feeling stress inside, it’s less about what’s happening out there and more about what I need to grow into. My response to stress is to find its source. And sometimes, that source may be unconscious. It could be deep below my awareness, locked in my body from the last 30 or 50 years.

The challenge—and the work I do with my clients—is to discover where those internal sources of stress responses to the outside world are. As you experience the feeling of stress, remember that it’s all happening inside. And the good news is, the way out of stress is at hand. You can actually do something about it. All is not lost.

Take care of yourself as you experience stress, and be well today.