Why Growth Feels Uncomfortable—and Why That’s a Good Thing
Lobsters grow by shedding their shells. But what triggers this transformation? Discomfort. As the lobster expands, its rigid shell becomes restrictive, pressing against its growing body. When the discomfort becomes unbearable, the lobster knows it must shed its shell, retreat into vulnerability, and allow a new, more expansive form to emerge.
Just like the lobster, we, too, create protective structures—only ours aren’t made of calcium. Instead, we armor ourselves with tension in the body, habitual defenses, and patterns of behavior that once made us feel safe but now keep us stuck. The contraction in the chest, the bracing in the shoulders, the clenching in the jaw—these are not just random discomforts. They are remnants of an old shell that once protected us but now confines our growth.
Your Body Holds the Story of Your Defenses
Long before you had words for your experiences, your body was shaping itself around them.
Tension in your shoulders? A reflexive brace against past stress.
Tightness in your belly? A lifelong habit of holding in emotions.
Shallow breathing? A body trained to stay small, unseen, or safe.
These aren’t just passing discomforts. They’re echoes of old patterns—memories stored in muscle, fascia, the nervous system, and even your biochemical responses. Over time, these embodied defenses become unconscious habits—ways we hold in emotions, avoid vulnerability, or suppress parts of ourselves to feel safe.
Discomfort as the Gateway to Growth
The places in our lives where we feel constrained—whether in relationships, careers, or personal identity—are not signs of failure but signals of impending transformation. The tension, the restlessness, the sense that something no longer fits—these are invitations to expansion.
Yet, unlike lobsters, we often resist this process. We ignore discomfort, suppress it, or distract ourselves from it. But growth is not meant to be comfortable. If we wait for safety before we transform, we remain trapped in a reality too small for the fullness of who we are becoming.
The Science of Body Armor and Letting Go
Before the mind recognizes change is needed, the body knows. The way we hold our breath, the tightening of our muscles, the dull ache of chronic tension—these are the body's way of saying, Something must shift.
Wilhelm Reich called this pattern of holding “armor,” and today we understand that this armor isn’t just in our muscles—it’s in our fascia, nervous system, and even our biochemistry.
Polyvagal theory explains how our fight, flight, or freeze responses become habitual defenses, shaping how we engage with the world.
Chronic muscle tension isn’t just physical—it’s an emotional holding pattern that keeps us locked in old survival strategies.
Even our endocrine system adapts to stress, creating biochemical loops that reinforce patterns of protection and suppression.
Shedding the Old Identity
True transformation isn’t about tweaking habits or thoughts—it’s about shedding outdated identities. The roles we’ve played, the ways we’ve kept ourselves safe, the personas we’ve built—each of these once served us. But eventually, they become too small.
Just like the lobster outgrows its shell, we outgrow our defenses. The rigidity that once made us feel strong now keeps us from fully inhabiting our lives. And just like the lobster, we must trust that beneath the discomfort, there is a larger, freer version of ourselves waiting to emerge.
How to Navigate the Growth Process
When discomfort arises, instead of resisting it, pause. Get curious. Ask yourself:
What is this discomfort asking me to release?
What is longing to expand?
Where am I holding onto an old shell that no longer serves me?
Then, instead of tightening against it, soften. Let the old form break open. Breathe. Move. Feel. Trust that a new one will emerge, stronger and more spacious than before.
Answering the Call to Expansion
Growth is not something we control—it’s something we allow. Every time we surrender to the process, we step more fully into the vast, luminous potential of who we truly are.
Life does not shrink to fit us. It calls us to expand to meet it.
And every time we say yes, we move closer to living as the limitless, boundless beings we are meant to be.
Are you ready to shed your shell and step into your next evolution?
The discomfort you feel is not a roadblock—it’s an invitation.
