The Trick Is Not to Mind the Hurt
What a camp-fire match and a sage’s secret reveal about true ease
The Match
In Lawrence of Arabia a young officer copies T. E. Lawrence’s party trick—pinching out a flame with bare fingers. He yelps, “That hurts!” Lawrence, unfazed, replies:
“The trick is not to mind that it hurts.”
The Secret
Years later an interviewer pressed a renowned mystic for the key to his serenity. His answer echoed the desert officer almost word for word:
“I don’t mind what happens.”
Two moments—one cinematic, one contemplative—point to the same doorway: pain exists, but suffering begins the instant we start minding it.
First Bite, Second Bite
First Bite: Raw sensation—heat, tightness, loss—arrives.
Second Bite: The mind tightens around a story: This shouldn’t be here. I’m in danger. It will last forever.
That second bite is optional. When we meet sensation without the commentary, the body processes the experience and moves on. Energy that would have spiraled into tension becomes available for presence, creativity, even joy.
A 60-Second Reset
Practice whenever discomfort knocks—physical ache, anxious thought, awkward silence.
Locate
Feel the precise edges of the sensation. Name it: warm, buzzing, heavy.
Breathe
Inhale into the center of the feeling. Exhale with the whisper, “This too.”
Release
Notice shoulders, jaw, belly. Let gravity carry what tensed muscles were holding.
One minute of un-minding can turn a burning match into a passing spark.
Everyday Alchemy
TriggerTypical ReactionNot Minding ShiftDeadline pressure“I’m failing.”“The body is gearing up to deliver.”Disagreement“We’re at odds.”“Two truths searching for alignment.”Sore back“Day ruined.”“Signal to bring breath and strength here.”
Each moment invites either contraction or conversion. The choosing happens quicker than a flame flickers out.
Living the Insight
Micro-check-ins — Set a timer to pause every two hours. Ask, Where am I resisting?
Move the charge — Shake, stamp, or stretch for thirty seconds to keep energy circulating.
Speak it aloud — Share a current pain with someone you trust, ending with, “And I’m willing not to mind.”
The more often we practice, the more the nervous system learns that feeling is safe—and the world around us starts relaxing in response.
When the next match flares, remember: the flame may nip, but it can’t define you unless you decide it should. The trick is not to mind that it hurts—then watch how quickly the hurt turns into light.
