Meditation, the Dark Night, and the Uncharted Depths of Consciousness
Meditation is often marketed as a path to peace, clarity, and enlightenment. And to a large extent, that’s true. Over the years, I’ve witnessed profound transformations in myself and those I work with—deepened self-awareness, emotional integration, and an expanded sense of being. But as with all deep inner work—whether through Core Energetics, psychedelic journeys, or intensive spiritual practice—the path is not always bathed in light. Sometimes, we encounter darkness.
Dr. Willoughby Britton, a psychiatrist and contemplative researcher at Brown University, whom I first met about 15 years ago, has dedicated much of her work to studying these lesser-discussed aspects of meditation. Through her Dark Night Project, she has documented cases of experienced meditators facing distressing psychological states—depersonalization, existential dread, panic, disorientation, and even prolonged depression. These are not just fleeting moments of discomfort; for some, they can last months or years, disrupting daily life and shaking the very foundation of identity.
The Hidden Depths of Meditation
For those of us who have spent years guiding others through transformation, none of this is surprising. The deeper we go into the nature of mind, the more we realize that meditation is not just about acquiring peace but about dismantling habitual identity structures—structures that have often been in place for lifetimes.
In Core Energetics and somatic psychology, we recognize that the body stores trauma in patterns of muscular and energetic holding. When those layers begin to loosen, old material—sometimes deeply buried—emerges. Meditation, in its radical stillness and openness, can accelerate this process, leading not just to moments of transcendence but also to the surfacing of unresolved wounds.
Britton’s research affirms what many ancient traditions have always known: the path to awakening is not linear, nor is it always gentle.
Christian Mysticism: St. John of the Cross spoke of The Dark Night of the Soul, the painful process of purification before deeper union with the divine.
Buddhism: The bhanga phase in Vipassana practice describes the dissolution of reality as we’ve known it, an experience that can be disorienting and even terrifying.
The challenge in the modern mindfulness movement is that meditation is often framed as a simple stress-reduction tool, detached from its deeper psycho-spiritual context. When someone in a mindfulness class suddenly spirals into an existential crisis, they may have no framework for understanding what’s happening. Worse, they may feel as though something has gone wrong, when in reality, they have simply stepped into the deeper currents of transformation.
Balancing the Benefits and Risks of Meditation
So, how do we integrate this understanding into our practice and teaching?
1. Approach Meditation with Respect
Meditation is powerful. Just as we would not drop someone into an ayahuasca ceremony without preparation or integration, we should not assume that meditation is always benign. Teachers, therapists, and practitioners have a responsibility to recognize and support those who find themselves in challenging territory.
2. Normalize the Dark Night as Part of the Journey
The answer is not to fear the dark night but to recognize it as part of the spiritual landscape. When the ego dissolves and old patterns crumble, there will be disorientation. But if we can meet it with awareness—through somatic grounding, skilled guidance, and a willingness to integrate the shadows that arise—what seems like destruction can become the gateway to a more expansive and embodied self.
3. Redefine the Purpose of Meditation
If we meditate only for peace, we may become disillusioned when discomfort arises. But if we engage with meditation as part of a larger journey—one that includes both light and shadow—then even the dark night can be seen not as an obstacle, but as a passageway to something deeper.
Dr. Britton’s research is a necessary reminder that no path worth walking is without its challenges. But for those willing to walk it with awareness, integrity, and support, even the darkest nights contain the seeds of transformation.
